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L: “Erik, go get me a financial report.” E: “Ok?” L: “Erik, can you make me a dinner reservation?” E: “Sure?” L: “And can you email the education board head?” E: “Uh-” L: “Erik, I need you to compose a letter to the Eunic embassy.” E:” Ok...” L: “Erik, please take a memo for me.” E: “Um.” L: “And can you pick up some groceries for me?” E: “Uh-” ... “Sir, I- I don’t think-” L: “Hm?” E: “I think you should fire me.” L: “Mm.” ... “So you think I’ve hired someone incompetent.” E: “Well, you-” L: “You think I just hired you because you saw something you shouldn’t have.” E: “What?” L: “And so I could keep an eye on you, and kill you if you made the wrong move.” E: “Wha- No! Why- What?” L: “Is... Is that not what you were thinking?” E: “NO! Are you gonna kill me?” L: “... No.” E: “That’s not reassuring!!” L: “You know, you’re quite a competent assistant, but you lock up when you get directions.” E: “Um, well, sir...” “Common isn’t my first language, I... I learned from reading books. So when you talk so fast, and with so many long words in a row, I... I get confused. I’m so sorry.” L: “Oh, of course! Your last name is clearly F’nyeki! Your accent is barely noticeable, though... Huh...” ... “My good sir, my sincere apo- I mean- I’m so sorry! I should have realized!” E: “Wha- It’s fine!! Just talk slower!”